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Nothing like having a group of friends just like you! Most of my friends are fluffy brown-skinned divas. Why? Because I quickly learned that no one can understand me better than people who look like me.
But what if some of your same friends embarrass you for your size? Unfortunately, dimensionalism Plus very real inside the area! Dimensionalism is defined as ddiscrimination or prejudice against people because of their size, especially weight.
We want the world to accept us for us, but sometimes we don’t give the same grace to people in our community, on purpose or not. The crazy thing is that this kind of discrimination comes in so many forms that some people don’t even realize it’s happening.
Why Does Your Stomach Look Like This?
It’s one thing to be the “big friend” of a group of single-digit women. But when you’re the eldest of a group plus friends, it’s a different energy.
I’m a apple shape – prominent in the middle. So jeans shopping has never been a fun thing for me. It’s like sheer anxiety every time I need a new pair. All the jumping and fidgeting would have to do to get my stomach into a pair of jeans.
I still remember going jeans shopping with a roommate who was another plus woman in 2015. Now, I thought going with another plus size friend would relieve my anxiety, but no! I’d try on a pair of jeans and she’d ask me, “Why does your tummy look like this? [in those jeans]’ and laugh. He was shaped like an hourglass with a less conspicuous belly. A simple lie like “Your ass looks fat” would have been enough, but too much to fantasize about.
I talked to my close friend and hub counselor (yessss #teamstomach), constructionabout the embarrassment my roommate made me feel at the store that day. And something we can’t understand, why? This particular talk taught me a hard lesson about the privileges that smaller and women can have. So much for encouraging and raising all the big belly girls.
All Body Measurements Matter
Another area where we witness bodybuilding is the fashion industry. We’ve come a long way from ordering our clothes from a catalog, but we’re not moving fast enough. For example, we didn’t start seeing more than 3xL (22/24) until recently.
I wrote an article about plus influencers of sizes 28 and up. And I’m ashamed to admit that I know nothing. When I was a size 24/26, fashion wasn’t all that inclusive and I didn’t have many options other than Torrid. strip bryant.
So it’s safe to say that the girl tinkered with the article a bit. Only then did I truly realize how conditioned I was to only see a certain dimension. I can talk about all body sizes, but subconsciously I overlooked sizes over 24. This is unfortunate because there are some beautiful kicking influencers fighting for inclusivity in fashion.
you are not a big girl
Plus we talked about being the biggest of your friends, but how about being the youngest big girl? Unfortunately, we do not consider some women to be “plus” because we believe they are at the pinnacle of plus size and “normal” sizes.
A few years ago, I scrolled through social media and saw the new line of a plus size brand. And instead of liking comments about potential pieces they could add to their wardrobes, they focused on the model not being “big enough.”
Did I miss something? The caption stated that the model was wearing an XL. I know I’ve never seen a size XL in a hot minute, but it’s still considered a plus size. I understand the gatekeeper of our community, but I must support everything plus size women.
There are many ways to combat dimensionalism: one, to love yourself. Many have internalized the negative stigma of plus size and shed these beliefs on others in our community. It doesn’t matter if one is pear shaped, apple shaped, two or five rolls. We are all beautiful and deserve to feel safe in our community.
Have you ever experienced dimensionalism? Share your stories below!
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