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Reader Question: “I have a hard time aligning how I feel inside with what my external image is trying to convey. It makes me doubt many of my intuitive wardrobe decisions! Help”
If that’s how you sometimes feel too, here’s a simple process to help you figure out what a disconnection could be (and you might discover it’s not there!).
1. What Should Your External Image Convey?
What features do you think your external image should have? This may depend on what you do or where you work and the dress code required (if any) or what you perceive as the requirements of this role. Here is a list of words that can help you get started with this process – by no means exhaustive (feel free to add your own).
| Self-confident | Strong | Attractive | Youth | Independent |
| Modern | Official | Professional | Successful | art |
| Exciting | Trustworthy | accessible | Sexy | Attractive |
| vaccine | cultured | Elegant | Complicated | Shiny |
| Exciting | live | Live | Fun | shining |
| Eclectic | Friendly | Feminine | Comfortable | city |
| Fresh | Sporty | Stylish | Creative | Attractive |
| Dynamic | annoyed | Everyday | Striking | playful |
| unusual | Interesting | Individual | Simple | Sensitive |
| Dramatic | intrepid | understated | stylish | Matchless |
| together | innovator | Mature | Conservative | adventurer |
| Outside | balanced | polished | retro | unusual |
| Bohemian | Free | Mysterious | effective | creative |
| Attractive | Clever | Productive | carefree | Pleasant |
| Mysterious | Modest | earthly | effervescent | attractive |
| Bohemian | Independent | Thoughtful | Curious | Convincing |
Once you have this list – say 3-6 words and go to step 2.
2. How Do You Want to Be Perceived
What do you want people to understand about your personality and values? What qualities of yours would you really make people think they summed up about you?
Complete this sentence using the list above (and any other words you want):
Oh there’s XX ENTER YOUR NAME HERE, it’s very ….. (FILL IN THE BLANK)
Again, you only want 3-6 words – the most important 3-6 that truly sums you up as a person.
3. Compare Your Lists
Let’s see if there is a disconnect between the image you want to convey, that outside image, and who you are inside – it’s time to compare your first list with your second list.
If they’re very similar, you’re probably feeling pretty compatible, if they’re different, there’s something going on here that needs to be explored further.
External and Internal Do Not Match
If this is the case, why is it so? Are you unhappy or do you not fit in the role you are currently in, so your outer image does not match your inner image? Are you in the wrong environment for your personality? Or are your expectations about your external image somehow no longer valid? Does it need to be updated?
If you’re not sure why this might really help with getting professional image advice – an outside perspective to help figure out what went wrong, or a more in-depth style tutorial – you’ll have a much deeper understanding of the issue. The relationship between your personality and your style and clothing choices, and how your values, both clothing and personal values, affect your style, are all within me. Style program in 7 steps.
4. Costume Your Character
You have a list of personality traits and values that make you feel truly in tune with who you are internally. I want you to imagine that you are Dressing up a character with exactly these traits for a movieWhat clothes and accessories would you dress them in? What kind of grooming? Hair style? Make up?
You might want to go to Pinterest and collect some pictures on a board that represent this character’s wardrobe and style. How do you know if you understand correctly? When choosing each outfit or outfit, ask yourself: “Is this car-less, attractive and unusual?” (if that’s your phrase). If you say yes it’s great, if no then that outfit or accessory doesn’t go to the board.
5. Photograph Your Clothes
Enter your wardrobe and take pictures of your current outfits – what you wear every day. Make at least 2-3 weeks of clothing so you have a lot to compare.
Look at these outfits and note what they convey (you may want to look at the list above.
Does it match what you want to convey with what you wear?
6. Compare and Compare
Then compare what you’re wearing to your costume board – do they look similar and compatible, or is there a big disconnect between what you’re currently choosing and how you’re going to dress your character?
You might find some similarities and see from the costume version that all you need is to add some tweaks (you can get style inspiration by doing this). You may find that the costume version is not related to your body shape or the color you have in mind – as to what really works – (again, if you’re not sure, get your style tutorial hSo you’re empowered to make the right choices), repeat this step with your own physicality in mind and see what comes up.
If you’re starting to realize that you’re not shopping well, making mistakes at the store (and there are many reasons for that), jump into my new masterclass. 5 Things You Should Stop Doing To Instantly Improve Your Style and find out where you went wrong (and why) so you can start making better purchasing decisions right away.
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